Green in Bowling Green

Dear Red,

I'm 25 and still live at home with my mom and 2 siblings. All of my friends are moving out and getting real jobs, but I'm just stuck in the same job living at home. Nothing ever seems to work out for me. How do I get ahead like they do?

Green in Bowling Green

*****

Dear Green in Bowling Green,

I’m really glad you shared this. Feeling “stuck” can be so heavy, especially when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward. That mix of comparison and discouragement hits deeper than most people admit.

That stuck feeling isn’t you failing - it’s your system signaling that something in you needs care and steadiness. And when your mind jumps to “nothing ever works out,” it makes total sense that you’d pull back. It’s a protective move, even though it ends up keeping you in the same spot.

You don’t have to flip your whole life upside down to feel some movement again. Often the real shift starts with noticing what happens inside you in those comparison moments - how fast it tightens, how heavy it gets. Most people can’t just “think” their way out of that. But even recognizing the pattern as it’s happening can give you a tiny bit of space, the kind that lets you exhale and stay with yourself instead of shutting down.

From there, tiny steps matter. Not heroic ones - just ones that remind you you’re capable of movement. Process over perfection.

If you want support untangling these patterns at the root, Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) can help you understand what’s happening inside you and how to move in a steadier, more grounded way. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

With You,
Red