3 Signs You Might Be Experiencing PTSD after Infidelity
Many people say, “I would never stay with my partner if they cheated on me.”
For those who have experienced it, you know it’s not that simple. Maybe you have kids together. You’ve built a life together. Maybe you share a home together. You dreamed about a future together. Calling it quits in an instant almost never happens. First, you have to wrap your head around what actually happened.
The “finding out” is a traumatic moment. Maybe you saw something on your partner’s phone or computer. Or maybe someone told you. It’s both a numbing and excruciating moment in time.
What people don’t often expect is how harrowing the next few months can be. For some, those months are even worse than the moment they found out. The truth trickles out. You almost never get all the information at once. Even if you can understand why the truth doesn’t come at once (the person who cheated is often feeling incredible amounts of shame and they shut down), it’s still maddening.
The good news? You’re not crazy. More than likely you are experiencing PTSD. Like any trauma, your nervous system can’t process all the information at once. So, your brain is replaying things over and over - just trying to place it somewhere. You need to know: Am I safe? What’s real?
3 Signs You Might Be Experiencing PTSD:
Intrusive Thoughts or Images. If you’re driving down the street or in the shower or just walking to the kitchen and all of a sudden you have a thought that feels like it came out of nowhere (and it sends you spiraling) - that’s an intrusive thought. Those thoughts or images - you don’t ask for them. They’re a sure sign your brain is trying to place what happened. That’s a trauma response.
You scour the internet for information. This is a common coping strategy and it goes like this “If I understand what happened and why it happened, I can have control to make sure it never happens again.” The problem is - you feel worse after your google deep dive.
You have a loss of appetite. Your brain might decide the most important thing to do is establish safety in the relationship, even before nourishing your body. Physical threat and emotional threat register in the brain the same way. It’s possible that emotional safety is taking precedence over food. (Try to eat just a little - you need your energy and we care about you).
*This is a horrible thing to go alone. My betrayal trauma video series is now only $97 (a huge price reduction from the original price at $275). There are 37 videos and journal prompts, designed to help validate you in your pain and give neuroscience explanations to your responses.