Therapy for Infidelity and Cheating
Your Healing Begins Now
Right after discovering the secret your partner hid from you, it’s normal to ask (on repeat): “What happened?”, “What else do I not know?” and “Why did it happen?!”
Sometimes, months or even years later - these questions are still unanswered. Betrayal trauma is disorienting, and it requires compassion. Good news - just by being here, you’ve taken your first step to heal. You can’t do this alone.
There are three different types of couples that come to us after discovering infidelity (or really any betrayal in a relationship - it doesn’t have to be cheating):
1) “I’m not sure I want to be in this relationship.”
Some couples need help deciding if they want to work on the relationship. One partner is not all the way out, but also not all the way “in.” This is a very common response to finding out about infidelity. Our therapists are trained to meet you where you are and help you see what’s getting in the way of you finding your truth. No one commits to a relationship imagining this will happen. You feel blindsided, and it takes time to get your bearings so you can make a decision about whether you want to stay or leave. Sometimes this work is more appropriate in individual therapy. Other times it’s helpful to process the ambivalence in couples work. Your therapist will help you decide what’s best.
2) “I definitely want to work on the relationship, but I know we have a long road ahead of us.”
There’s a lot of hope when both partners are fully transparent, open and committed to making their relationship affair proof. If the affair is over and boundaries have been set so there’s no ongoing betrayal, couples can work together to heal. There’s often a reactive pattern that happens after finding out about the infidelity (or other type of betrayal). Once the dust settles, couples can get to the root of what made their relationship fragile or susceptible to cheating. This doesn’t mean that infidelity is ever justified - it’s just helpful to get to the heart of what was happening so that it never happens again. Our therapists never blame or villainize anyone in couples work.
3) “I’m not sure the cheating is over.”
It’s normal to question everything after finding out about infidelity. Sometimes the affair relationship isn’t over, and your spidey sense is trying to tell you that. Other times, your constant questioning is more about being traumatized and therefore hypervigilant - looking for any evidence that it could still be happening. It’s often difficult to decipher between the two. If you strongly suspect the behavior (cheating, infidelity, any type of betrayal) is ongoing, consider individual therapy first. You need to feel as safe as you can when you enter into couples work.
Finding the way through the darkness into healing
Whether your journey is to work on the relationship, find courage to leave - or you’re somewhere in the middle - it’s too hard to do it alone. The isolation in the darkness is unbearable. Professional help can’t take away the pain, but it makes the journey bearable.
This is not something that can be swept under the rug or ignored. A huge wound like this has to be felt, seen and processed. Otherwise, mistrust will linger. People who have worked through this and decided not to stay in the relationship still choose to work on the impact it had on them. Once you process the pain, you can feel confident again and able to open up to others.
We’re a team of specially trained therapists in the Middle Tennessee area who can help you heal.
And we have a specific method to help you do that.
We do one thing and we do it really well.
We are specially trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).
Why do we use EFT?
We could bore you with the decades of evidenced-based research proving it to be the gold standard of efficacy for couples therapy (but you can just Google it if you actually want to nerd out).
We love EFT because we’ve seen it work time and time again in our clients. The results they achieve are proof. They show us it works every day.
In this process, we can tackle recovering from infidelity or betrayal and simultaneously help you heal the bigger themes in your relationship or within yourself.
Here are examples of things that get addressed when working with us toward healing from infidelity/betrayal:
The trauma of betrayal — including PTSD symptoms, triggers, and the emotional aftermath.
Rebuilding trust and deciding whether to stay or leave.
Understanding reactive patterns that emerged after discovery.
Navigating tough questions: What to tell the kids? Who needs to know?
Intimacy, sex, and the fear of emotional disconnection.
How to grieve the relationship you thought you had.
What healing looks like — and how to know when you're ready to trust again
This is what our couples and individuals say at the end of EFT therapy for infidelity
“No one could have told me that we would be stronger coming out of this. It’s not something you can hear in the beginning, but now that we’re here - it’s true.”
“This was one of the hardest but most important journeys of self discovery that I’ve ever done. I’m grateful.”
“Our therapist was so patient and gracious. We needed that persistent and loving stance.”
We know how difficult it is to be in your situation right now. We’ve walked with hundreds of couples in the same boat.
Our therapists have over 50+ years of combined experience working with couples and individuals day in and day out to help create a better relationship.
We will guide you through this process step by step. When couples in Nashville need help, they reach out to us.
You are worth it and you deserve healing. We’re confident in our ability to help you. This is our passion.
Reach out below, and let’s get started on the path to healing!
**If you’re not quite ready for therapy, we have a resource that’s perfect for you! Check out our private, accessible video series specifically for Betrayal Trauma. The series takes the shame out of your trauma response. The short and relatable videos are curated with you in mind. Each video is topic based so you can pick and choose what you need to hear that day (understanding PTSD responses, grounding techniques, how to build back trust, etc).